What My Students Taught Me in My First Year Abroad: School Counselor Edition

There’s something about the end of the school year that feels heavy in a way that’s hard to explain unless you work in schools. By May (June for me), everyone is carrying something. Students are tired. Teachers are tired. Counselors are definitely tired. The school somehow feels chaotic and emotional at the same time.

I think part of that heaviness comes from the fact that schools hold so many human stories all at once. Stress, friendship drama, anxiety, change, homesickness, grief, and by the end of the year, it all sits a bit closer to the surface.

This year, that feeling was even heavier for me. It was my first school year abroad, and somewhere between supporting students through their own transitions and trying to survive my own, they ended up teaching me more than I expected.

Students don’t always remember your advice, but they do remember how safe they felt with you.

This year reminded me how deeply people need spaces where they can exhale and just be. My students taught me that safety isn’t created by having the perfect words or interventions - it’s built slowly through consistency, warmth, and presence. Qualities I think are always important, but especially with international students who so often experience transition and change.

Building this type of counseling space and program takes time, and can honestly feel a bit lonely, especially at the beginning. It’s still a work in progress for me, but I’m proud of what I’ve built so far. The small and meaningful interactions I’m holding close to my heart at the end of this year include, “I love spending time in here”, “I came to say hi and see if you have any snacks?", “Can I have lunch with you?”, “You’re so warm”.

At the same time, moving abroad made me realize I was searching for those same feelings too. In a year where so much felt unfamiliar, I now understand more deeply what it means to simply need someone who makes you feel safe, seen, and grounded. So thank you to the people here who have helped fill some of those voids for myself and my family.

Kids are carrying more than adults realize.

My students taught me that people are almost always carrying more than we can see. Academic pressure, family struggles, loneliness, anxiety, identity questions - just to name a few. So many students walked through the school doors every day carrying invisible weight and I think that’s important to recognize and reflect on.

There were so many moments this year where I remember thinking, “You’ve been carrying that all day?” and for some, even longer. Kids are holding so much while still being expected to take tests, socialize, participate, and act like everything is normal. All while still learning how to regulate and make safe decisions - skills so many kids are struggling to develop in a world that honestly feels so overwhelming right now.

This year, I realized how often adults are doing the same thing. Moving abroad has stretched me emotionally in ways I didn’t anticipate, and there were days I showed up exhausted while still trying to hold space for others. It has made me softer, slower to judge, and more aware of how much people quietly carry, especially kids.

Teenagers want honesty more than perfection.

Working with high schoolers in a counseling capacity for the first time has taught me so much, and being authentic is at the top of that list. One thing about teenagers? They know immediately when an adult isn’t being real/authentic. This year has been a great reminder that students connect far more with honesty and humanity than perfection. Some of my best conversations this year happened when I stopped trying to have the perfect counselor response and instead validated their feelings with a, “yeah…that really does suck” - while also allowing students to see me experience my own big feelings and have real moments too.

Living abroad challenged my own need to “have it together.” There were so many moments this year where I felt uncomfortable, uncertain, or out of place. Students reminded me that vulnerability creates connection and that being a real person matters far more than pretending to have all the right answers.

Students taught me resilience while I was learning it too.

This year, while supporting students through change, stress, heartbreak, pressure, and uncertainty, I was learning resilience too.

Moving abroad dismantled so much of what once felt easy and familiar. There were days I walked into school feeling emotionally exhausted before the day had even started. But students reminded me constantly that resilience usually looks much quieter than people think it does. I watched students continue showing up every day while carrying things most people around them knew nothing about. And honestly, there were days I was doing the exact same thing.

Most of the time, resilience simply looks like showing up again the next day. Trying again. Letting yourself feel the big feelings without giving up. I think we were all learning that together this year and I’m really proud of all of us for continuing to quietly show up for ourselves and others.

As the school year comes to an end, I think part of the heaviness I feel comes from carrying so many stories, emotions, and moments alongside students for an entire year.

This first year abroad has changed me in ways I’m still unpacking, both personally and professionally. It has stretched me, humbled me, and softened me. And somehow, in the middle of supporting students through their own challenges and transitions, they have quietly helped me through mine too.

What I’ll carry into next school year is the reminder: that people need safety more than perfection, consistency more than fixing, and connection more than answers. And maybe most importantly, that we’re all (kids and adults alike) just trying to find our footing while carrying more than others can see.

To the students and people who quietly changed me this year, thank you.

Haley